Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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