i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
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You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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