just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
