he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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