Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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