I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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