Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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