all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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