We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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