Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
