I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
