About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
