would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
