Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
