Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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