I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
