Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize