D3 body, D1 cock
I got chris browned last night
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
