i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
