So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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