Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
