So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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