you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
