how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
