You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
