stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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