the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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