The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
