This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
