i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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