I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
