yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
