12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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