I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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