is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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