i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
