do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How does one acquire holy water?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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