she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
