once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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