YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
