Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
home. puking in laundry basket.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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