Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
