fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
