literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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