The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
