The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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