Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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