Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The ass gains better be worth it
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