conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You made out with two different species that night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
