evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
