My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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