You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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