Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
