So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
birth control should be required to get into college
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
