your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
