This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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