distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
