i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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