I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
