So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
