She announced her abortion via fbk
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
