I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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