id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
