Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
