You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
