If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
