i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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